Monday, December 6, 2010

silly kids.

With my FOURTH baby on it's way, I have had my fair share of curious questions from my children on how babies make their entrances, and exits. I've heard some pretty hilarious stories from my girlfriends on the things their children have said. But today, I made the mistake of watching A Baby Story. It is one show that I detest because it's the same thing over and over again....."baby is 1 day late, must induce with high dosages of pitocin, mom gets an epidural, labor slows down, more pitocin, baby goes into distress, mom gets a c-section" but today I just laid on the couch with London and watched the show. This episode actually ended in a natural delivery which was a nice change for the show and London went on and on about how we are going to have a new baby at our house too. Then about an hour ago, I walked by London's room. London was laying on her bed talking to her barbie about how she is pregnant and needs to poop out a baby to bring home. I laughed so loud, I startled her and it made her cry. I didn't even bother to correct her, because Mason had already ruined the whole baby out of vagina thing for me and I wasn't about to get into that with London.

Mason's story.

It all started with my pregnancy with Rowan. Mason was 4 and was in preschool at Lemoore Preschool.
We went to the Dr. for flu shots and Dr. Gage asked Mason if he was excited for the new baby to come. Mason said yes, and then asked Dr. Gage about how the baby comes out. Mason had never asked me this question before. Dr. Gage knew I was hoping for a VBAC so he just blurted out "well Mason, when the baby is good and ready he's going to come out of your mom's vagina". I just stared at him in anger with my mouth open. He told me it's natural and that I shouldn't lie to Mason. Mason never brought it up again. So thought that Dr. Gage was right. Then came the Christmas Party at Mason's class. One of the other moms was expecting too, a few weeks before Rowan and had just had her baby. The teacher had the class sitting down on the rug and was sharing the good news of Jacks new baby brother. Then Mason yells out "Did he come out of your mom's vagina?" Every mother, child, and teacher in that class looked at Mason in disgust and then looked at me like "who tells their 4 year old about their vagina" not me!!!!!! his dr. did I swear! Lets just say Mason didn't return there for pre-k the next year. Well my v-bac didn't go as planned and I ended up with a c-section. I was in a ton of pain, because I had labored for well over 11 hours first before the emergency cesarean and I thought that by me showing Mason my scar he would understand that he needed to be gentle with me and not jump on me like usual. So I called him in my room, showed him the line across my lower stomach and he said "oh so thats your vagina?"
He wasn't wrong for thinking that, thats how the baby came out and his pediatrician said the baby would make his appearance that way. I didn't correct him, because you know what? I will never ever have to worry about Mason knocking up a girlfriend in high school this way.
So now, I am a mother of a daughter who thinks she can poop out a baby.
And a son who thinks stomachs are vaginas.

2 comments:

Sarah Bethuel said...

LOVE it! Dr. Gage is our doctor too and I can so see him saying that to a kid!

the blank book said...

I laughed so hard, I cried! This is a great story. And. I don't see anything wrong with your not explaining things to your kids till you think it's right! ;)