Monday, January 31, 2011

my son said.......

Yesterday, while reading a nat geo book on whales, my daughter asked "mommy why is it called a sperm whale" and Mason replied before I could " because it looks like a sperm".

Then we turned the page and it showed a mother whale birthing her calf, and London asked "will blood come out of your bottom like that when the baby comes" and I said "uh mommy gets to skip that part because the dr. takes the baby from mommy's tummy".

That was my eventful weekend.

Monday, January 24, 2011

because it's cool

quilting that is.
in fact, all crafting is.

It is such a great feeling to make something for your kids, and not just their beds, or dinner. I wish that I would have started earlier with the whole learning how to sew process. I was raised by my grandma, hey g-ma Sharon!, and she was/is a phenomenal seamstress. She used to make all of her clothes in high school, think late 50's pencil skirts with matching cardigans. Her mother, aka g-ma June, made lots of quilts.  She made one for me when I was little, made one for my son Mason when he was born and was in the midst of making one for my daughter London, who was still in my womb, but she discovered she had brain cancer and quickly deteriorated and was unable to finish. One of my main goals was the finish the quilt for London and to use it as at the main focal point in her room. However, I was looking over it yesterday and I think it is way beyond my sewing skills. My grandma was ill when she started it so It needs some repair, plus to be finished. I'm pretty bummed about it, I did find some cute Ikea bedding to use instead. And I will still finish it. One thing that did perk me up was that Rachel Denbow of Smile and Wave has a Modern Patchwork e-course that I will be taking. It will hopefully make me confident enough to finish it, plus make a ton of cute stuff for my kiddos and home. Check it out!
click for source

Sunday, January 23, 2011

no sunday funday for us.

We didn't have a good day at the Contente home. We stayed home from church because Rowan has had a fever for the past couple of days and it's here with a runny nose, lack of appetite, the sleepies and a case of the "whines". My hardworking husband is slaving away at tearing up the tile that covers 90% of our home to refinish the hardwood floors hiding beneath. Due to that we are confined to a small space in the house. Kings County has been plagued with pretty bad fog, and grey skies but today the sun actually peeped through. So you would think that while the baby was napping off his fever, that I would want to get out of our confined space in the house and take London to the park, or for a walk, or just to play outside in the sunshine, right? I didn't. Instead my poor daughter stayed couped up inside watching The Princess and the Frog like 3 times, Dora the Explorer, and anything else that was on netflix. She would have loved to go outside, she even asked to go out and blow bubbles at one point. But I was in a funk. I didn't want to do a single thing. The most I got done today, was reloading the dishwasher and showering. The laundry remained in a big heaping pile in the den, the kids rooms are a mess, the toilet needs to be scrubbed, and my daughter needed to get outside. But I did nothing. Total fail in our house. I stayed on the couch next to her with the laptop in my lap searching through etsy, ikea and target for baby stuff. I could have at least gotten out the paints, and crayons for her, or the playdough...something. I feel so bad. So unfair for her. Nothing is worse than being stuck in a house when all you want to do is get outside, and unfortunately for London, she is only 3 and can not venture outside by herself.
What on earth am I going to do when the new baby gets here and there is 4 kids? My kids can't afford for their mother to ignore them like this. I apologized to her before bed tonight for doing anything fun, and I will make it up to her tomorrow. I am not super mom, I don't think I ever will be.
Thank God tomorrow is a new day.

Friday, January 21, 2011

if you like me....

I made a page for i am content(e) where I will post my blog updates instead of on my personal facebook page. If you are a fan of reading this blog, click like and you can get an update of all of the ridiculously personal things I like to blog about.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

20 weeks pregnant.

I realized that I never posted an update on my doctors appointment on the 10th. We went and saw a perinatologist in Fresno, and had a 4D ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that the "mass" in the baby's heart was actually just calcium which is completely normal and common. In fact, so common that when they see that in ultrasound at their office they don't even bother telling the patient about it. It was amazing news to hear. We got some beautiful photos of our baby girl, which I put up on a later post because I left the photos in the car and it's freezing outside and I'm in my pj's now.

So this past week Joe and I have been batteling about baby names. I really love the names Ruby and Norah and he does not. Then I mentioned Betsey Jane and he said I love that, and I said me too! perfect!! our baby girl is no longer nameless. I am now 20 weeks and feeling pretty great and pretty huge. I have been following weight watchers online using the breastfeeding option as a guide to help me not put on a obscene amount of weight. I used it with Rowan and it helped a lot. But last week I just didn't feel like counting points or watching food so I ate whatever I wanted to and it felt amazing. I also noticed a big growth in my stomach, not sure if it's from the food or the baby. I'm still able to fit into most of my regular jeans, mainly because I carry so so high.  I feel the baby move and kick all the time, it's wonderful.
20 weeks

I colored my hair, got a trim and gave myself DIY bangs.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Moms need to say sorry too.

Our little family has been batteling an epidemic of conjunctavitis aka "pink eye" aka "stink eye" for the past 2 weeks. First London came down with it, swollen eyes, red with all the gross eye boogers, then shortley followed Mason who missed a week of school due to it and then Rowan. I was in the clear and so was my husband. They passed it back and forth for the 2 weeks, one would be fine for 2 days then it would hit again. I was washing everything and still couldn't rid our home of this nastiness. We couldn't go anywhere, we litterally almost ran out of groceries at one point. The kids HATED the eye drops, I mean full on battle when it came time for the meds. They would run scream cry and hide under Rowan's crib. So I tried out the drops and they didn't even burn! so then I was super irriated that they were going through this dramatic meltdown each time because it didn't even hurt! I disshed out some discipline due to it. Then bam! Friday I wake up in the middle of the night with burning watery eyes go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and I looked like I was intoxicated. It was disgusting! Thank God we had the medicated drops already in the house, but I was worried to even drive anywhere in case I got pulled over because I was so sure that the police officer would think I was high or drunk, it was awful. So I went to put in the drop and OH MY FREAKIN GOSH it burned soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad. See, the drops don't burn when you don't have it, but when you do it's bad. I had to go to my children and apologize for being so mean and non compassionate about how it was hurting them, because truthfully, I wanted to scream and hit someone too when I put them in my eyes.

I feel like I have to do that a lot, apologize that is. Sometimes I lose my cool and let myself get to the point of being miserable and spent and I yell at my kids, or ignore them wanting to play with me so I can get some facebook time in or reading blogs, I discipline the wrong child, I get mad when medicine is buring their eyes, and so on. I am only human, and I make mistakes every single day, but there is always a time for apologizing and explaining how what I did was wrong and asking my children to forgive me. Just because you are the parent doesn't mean that what you do is always right.

*note to self* do not match your lipstick to your sick eyes

Sunday, January 9, 2011

our baby is a........


a girl, a sweet baby girl.


I know, I know, the gender was supposed to be a surprise. But after our deliverance of bad news at the ultrasound, I asked her if she saw what we were having and she looked at me and said "a princess". I had happy tears before the sad freaked out tears started.
I felt so guilty for finding out though because Joe was really looking forward to being excited about it being a surprise at delivery.
I had to think of a way to make it special. I hurried home to my pink-eyed children and told them we had to make a special cake to tell daddy. I was so low on pantry items, I had to get super creative and didn't want to venture out in the cold with my daughter's green eye boogers. So we made a sign that said "Boy or Girl??" and then we made a small cake with strawberry filling (thank god for my smoothie cravings and having frozen strawberries) I was out of eggs, so I made it vegan with applesauce in place of the eggs, and almond milk for the milk. We frosted it, threw a ton of multi colored sprinkles on it and put a big giant question mark on it with red frosting. Then we used little paper banners that said " strawberry filling for a girl" "blueberry filling for a boy". Totally makeshift, but it was sweet and made with great intentions. Joe was so sad from the news of the baby so when he came home and saw it when he walked in he was like "oh my God you know? you know really?" and I said "yes" he ran to that cake and cut it so fast! and then he was so happy. I didn't get pictures of the reaction because I was so caught up in the moment of it all. A very special time for us. We are very lucky and blessed people, because we have gotten exactly what gender we wanted with each child. Boy Girl Boy Girl. Perfect. I have already planned out the nursery, she will be sharing a room with her big sister. London is so super excited! She said " now I have a baby sister of my very own for my room" and I said " she's not a decoration London" and she said " well Mason can have Rowan now" hahaha they fight like cats and dogs, she easily gave him up. So here is our happy happy happy news. I wanted to try and wait and not tell anyone till the baby was born, but hey everyone knows I have a big mouth. We waited to share the news with our family till tonight at Sunday family dinner, so now it's fair game for the rest of the world to know. As for names, Joey really wanted to name the baby Finley for either gender. But I feel that is a boy name, you know Fin for short. And I don't like it.  My other choices when I had London were June, Ruby or Fiona and I am really leaning towards Ruby. Ruby Lane. I also like Norah a lot. But when I told London the choices she said "RUBY! like Max and Ruby!!!"
too. cute.

Friday, January 7, 2011

baby room and kid room ideas!

OK since my last post was so heavy, I'll post a fun one. It's about baby and kid room ideas for our home, that's fun isn't it?

So these are some rooms that I LOVE via

Joe will be making these for the boys room!
I love EVERYTHING about this room, the hanging beds, the colors, the simplicity. Love it. was built by the kids dad, all materials purchased at Home Depot!

This room is awesome too. When the new baby comes, he/she will be co-sleeping in our room because of breastfeeding and just peace of mind. But as far as sharing a room space, we aren't sure who's room they will be in! London's room is super small, and the boys room is a long rectangle. Joe had suggested taking out the closet doors and building a bed in the closet to save space. The room below really shows a  great way to do that, and the dad built it all himself. 

I love the use of space in a rectangle shaped room, plus the modern & vintage feel to it. 

I am re-doing London's room with a vintage quilt that my great grandmother started before she passed. It is white with red rosettes and the room will be painted robin's egg blue on top and the wainscoting an antique white to match her furniture. The next room shows very closely to what I am looking for in London's room, and if we have another girl what the room would look like for two. I would personally add a few more feminine touches, because London is a girly girly girl.

So the next rooms, are just great rooms that were featured on the site that I love and I got some inspiration for the new rooms from. What so fun about kids rooms, is that it can be 100% done by you, with a little bit of creativity,  a little recycling, a little antiquing, you can have a completely unique creative space for your kids that doesn't have to break your wallet & doesn't have to be "themed" or look like you copied the entire thing from Target. Even though, I do love Target.....everyone does right?

being pro something.

This is a story of how I became pro-life.

I have always been on the socially liberal side of things. Always. You know how you are just something, well that was me. I could care less if gay people got married, I could care less what people did with their own bodies. So even though, some choices people make are definitely not the right ones for me, I have always voted on the liberal side of things because I like to make my own decisions and have never had any desire to make life decisions for others.

That was until my ultrasound this last Tuesday, the 4th.
It was just supposed to be the typical diagnostic ultrasound they do around 20 weeks (Im 18 weeks). Im always excited to see my little bean on the screen. But after the tech spent 45 minutes staring at my babies heart, I knew something wasn't right. I saw the four chambers, I saw it beating, I knew the baby was alive so after not being able to stay quiet any longer, I asked "do you see something wrong?" And she looked at me and said look at the bottom chamber, do you see that? and I did. The other three chambers were clear and pumping together, but this one was clouded, like it was filled with something. She said I dont know what it is, it could just be nothing my machine isn't that great. Then turned on the light and said let me get your midwife.

Longest 3 minutes of my entire life.

Midwife came in, she asked whats going on with this ultrasound, and I told her what the tech said. And she showed me the report and it said "mass found in heart". She said, "I am not worried, Nichole, don't be a worrier Nichole" I said I wasn't worried, and she told me that the ultrasound machine is not the best quality and that the ultrasound tech is always seeing things and that she is not sure if that makes her a good tech, or not. Because 99.9% of the time, it is nothing. So I felt reassured, I walked out to my suburban, got inside, started it, started to back out, then stopped and began bawling my eyes out. My whole body was shaking and I couldn't control it. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt in my entire life. I called my grandma, she couldn't even understand what was mumbling out of my mouth. I had to stop and breathe and explain to her and she cried with me.  She told me that there is nothing that I can do, and that God allowed me to be pregnant with this baby for a reason and that I need to just trust Him and my body to take care of this baby.

The office called me and they scheduled me an appointment with a perinatologist in Fresno, named Dr. Woods and I will be having a 4D ultrasound to examine the heart development on Monday, the 10th.

This has now been the longest week of my life, ever.

I want to be able to say, "oh I'm sure nothing is wrong, and that it is just shadow in the ultrasound" but I can't. I'm worried sick and it consumes my thoughts all day long. I think of how serious it could be if it is something, or if the baby is going to need surgery, or if things are just not going to be ok. I think of the kinds of scars that heart surgery leaves, the thought of my baby just not being ok is so emotionally overbearing to think of.  My grandma asked if they mentioned terminating the pregnancy? and I said no, she would never mention that to me. And she said " well, babies are killed every day for less" and it made me sick to my stomach to think that  could be an option for my child. So Tuesday, the 4th, at the age of 25 and a mother of 3, almost 4, I decided that I am not longer a pro-choice woman, that I am now officially pro-life.

So we are still waiting for that exam to happen on Monday. I am trying my best to have some peace about it. I've never prayed more or harder in my entire life. And I would appreciate if you people reading this could keep my family in your thoughts and prayers and I will let everyone know what we find out.
If it turns out to be nothing, and I'm sure I will feel ridiculous for being so emotional and worrisome but at least my eyes were opened to something that they were not before.

                                                                     18 weeks, 5 days